Author photo

By Mel Makaw
contributing writer 

A pun a minute

On the Bright Side

 

November 11, 2023

Mel Makaw.

A pun a minute means time flies... oh never mind. I'm not good at thinking up puns, but I sure do love to hear them. It seems many of you do too, as so many of them come to me from friends and strangers alike.

Here, then, are some more funny funny, punny punny offerings from my collection for your enjoyment:

A beehive without an exit is unbelievable.

The turtle crossed the road to get to the Shell station.

The opposite of formaldehyde is casualjekyl.

Skipping school to bungee jump will get you suspended.

I sat on poison ivy and a four-leaf clover. I got a rash of good luck!

I started a new job as a deer breeder. It won't make me rich, but I will make a few bucks.

I've tried to write a bunch of unemployment puns but none of them work.

My friend said he once threw a stick two miles and his dog still brought it back, I dunno, seems a bit far-fetched to me!

I made up a color that didn't exist. It's a pigment of my imagination.

I want to open a store for used drum kits. I'll name it Repercussions.

Plateaus: the highest form of flattery.

Last night I dreamed I was a vinyl record. I woke up feeling groovy.

I found a book about an amazing basement – it was a best cellar!

I put a pair of glasses on and suddenly I saw a fella in a suit of armor. They were knight vision goggles.

I was disappointed when the local tobacco store was replaced by an apparel store. Clothes, but no cigar.

I saw Elvis at Home Depot today. He returned a sander.

I never finish anything. I have a black belt in Partial Arts.

People who can't tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking, but it was the invention of the broom that truly swept the nation.

Geology rocks but geography is where it's at.

Okay, I came up with a new dating app idea – you match with people who are on the same meds as you. I call it Relationscripts.

Had a reporter friend who was addicted to ice cream. He was always looking for a scoop!

My local bakery is hiring now – they knead new employees.

I'm reading a book on the history of lubrication. It's non-fiction.

I'm going to start doing lunges to stay in shape. That will be a big step forward for me.

Apparently this weekend there will be constant rane, hale, fails, drissel, thundre, litenin, hy tydes, tawnaydoes, and frizzin cold... a rilly bad spel of wether.

Some people you have to pay to be good. Not me – I'm good for nothing.

I want to apologize to everyone for the bad puns. – Noah Fence

Happy November! Keep smiling!

© 2023 Mel Makaw. Mel, local writer/photographer and author of On the Bright Side, a Collection of Columns (available locally at Tehachapi Arts Center and Healthy Hippie Trading Co.), welcomes your comments at morningland@msn.com.

 
 

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