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By Scott Ware
contributing writer 

People like talking to you – take that as a compliment


June 25, 2022

A very tall Walmart employee approached me at the self-checkout and said, “Has anyone ever walked up to you and discussed their religion with you?”

“You mean, they want you to experience their religion – like, get saved – or their spirituality?” I asked.

“Both, I guess. They just start sharing about it with me.”

“I guess that’s nice.”

“But why me? I don’t get it.”

“Well, you seem very open. Perhaps you’re a ‘clearing’ for that kind of thing,” I replied, thinking the energy she puts out must be similar to mine because she approached me with this topic.

“Personally, I think you have an angelic energy,” I added. She took that in for a second and may have dismissed it. It’s certainly not something I tell someone every day, but it was true for me and, I felt, appropriate to the conversation.

Then someone needed her help and our unique conversation ended. I’m glad I made the angel comment and didn’t hold back – too often I’ve not given someone the positive feedback that occurred to me.

Why? Am I stingy telling a person – stranger or loved one – something that stands out about them? Yes, a bit. Was that not rewarded in my childhood? Perhaps, but not because my parents didn’t love me or think wonderful things about me – I’m pretty sure they did. It’s because their parents – and their parents – thought that acknowledging someone else’s gifts might give them a big head; could cause them to not perform their responsibilities because they felt they were too good for them now; maybe next they might think they should be carried around the city on a golden throne.

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Ridiculous, of course, but many times we don’t think through the things we believe or do (or don’t do).

Must we wait until someone is on their deathbed before we open our heart and tell them what they really mean to us? “They know how I feel about them,” is something we often tell ourselves, and deeper introspection tells us this is not the case.

How many times have you told someone “I love you” this week? There’s no right or wrong answer, or judgment, it’s just an interesting question to ask, followed by why or why not? (Be kind to yourself.)

Note: Of course, we’re not talking about complimenting someone’s appearance. In most cases, we’re better off going deeper by acknowledging someone’s truest gifts. We may even appreciate someone’s inner light that gives them a kind of glow and we can compliment their kind nature. That goes a lot further and is far more appreciated. It means you’re seeing the real them. We all like to be truly seen.

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It’s also true that some of us are less comfortable speaking words of affection and would rather perform acts of service that show our love, chopping wood for an elderly relative for instance, or running errands with them. Others like to give gifts, etc.

Right now, I’d like to pay a compliment or two to Claudia, the publisher of The Loop newspaper, who I ran into at the Maker’s Mart Fair. She’s always so nice and welcoming, with a very light touch and extremely knowledgeable and passionate about all things Tehachapi. It’s just what you’d want in the person in charge of The Loop newspaper, and I’m glad to work with someone so nice and tapped in. (Much the same can be said for you too, Pat Doody.)

There. Now I won’t be on my deathbed regretting not saying that.

And this: I wish nothing but the best for you, and that you receive all that you truly deserve, which may be far more than even you think you deserve. Blessings all around.


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