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Memoir of a Stupid Jerk-head Face

He walks among us!

No, not the Creature from the Black Lagoon. But Tom Carmody, who, with his team, has written a book. Amazon says it's "Hilarious, yet touching ..."

"Memoir of a Stupid Jerk-head Face." Catchy? His son helped with the title. Google: "Tom Carmody stupid" and there it is. It tells us that God can use any life, and I mean any life, for His purpose and glory. We just need to give that life to Him.

So let's tell you why you should read this book by first answering the question, who is Tom Carmody? Let's describe him this way: when we look at the world we see that athletes abound, musicians are everywhere, scores are spontaneous, a whole bunch of people are stupid, countless sing, on both coasts actors flourish (when they're not striking), lots are humorous, planes and ships are filled with globe trotters, and there are a lot, although fewer than we'd like, who are quick witted and darn funny. But few are all of these rolled up into one cuddly, fuzzy, though ruggedly solid package.

That's Tom. And being Tom for over 60+ years, he's led a heck of a life, one that included both hiding from a Catalina cop under a bar table in '81 and taking over a prison ministry in 2009-back to both later.

About that life: it sprang from talent-nourished ground-a low income Irish/Italian immigrant family in Revere, Massachusetts where mom, at the time scouted by Disney, became the National Anthem-lady for the Celtics, Red Sox and Patriots ("God's favs," assures Tom). His grandfather played the piano for, among others, The Andrew Sisters. Tom's youth reflected that creativity as well: piano and bass guitar by ear, running wild with other kids, sports, exploding cars and stealing drive-in speakers with his buds-the usual creative fun.

In his mid-20s, though, came a life-quake. Tom began selling aerospace electronic components and earning far too much money for a guy his age. His massive income got him a Redondo Beach oceanview townhouse, steps from left-coast sand and all those bikinis sunbathing thereon. This enabled him to ramp way up his knack for the stupid and untamed. He and his friends initiated an alcohol and incident crammed stint that spanned decades and ran frantically-sometimes motorcycles roaring-from coast to coast. Daily, sometimes hourly, they punctuated this stretch with spontaneous stupid, some of which included those bikinis. And here's a taste of what else.

Coined The Duke of Prunes (read the book to find out why), Dukey, or just plain Duke, those decades included wild times, like avoiding skiers and engaging in epic snowball fights both inside and outside in downtown Boston during the great blizzard of February, 1978, and escaping over various rooftops at Northeastern University in Boston. Then, while in the country of Georgia, he smuggled out in his pants, past the KGB, the Tbilisi City flag that just happened to fall on his shoulder while the words "International Incident" thundered between his ears.

Tom dipped ankle deep into the Hollywood waters (was beat out by Val Kilmer for the role of Jim Morrison in "The Doors"), met and partied with Clint Eastwood (but then both were accused of stalking each other) and all but lived at The L.A. Forum. He's possibly encountered a couple angels along the way; one in Penny Loafers, while he took on the Himalayas at 17,000 feet, and again while hiding under a Catalina bar table the night Natalie Wood met her controversial death. A die-hard Celtics fan (which caused head-knockings with Jack Nicholson and Walter Matthau), Tom was once even scouted by the Boston Red Sox, as his father was. He attended and pranked one Super Bowl after another (a Super Bowl garbage truck will never look the same to you again).

Later on in life, often alone, Dukey scampered from continent to continent, usually finding a family to become a part of for a few weeks while they entertained each other, giving Tom the local experience. Doing this he left huge footprints in 41 countries.

Tom, now in his 60s, still makes a lot of noise playing basketball (takes two to cover him), baseball/softball, football (the two-handed touch variety), hockey, golf, tennis and bocce/lawn ball (seriously?) just to name a few.

The love story? A doozy. Dukey and Pam- it took 13 years, Dukey's own private Maui earthquake and an insane proposal stunt to get to the altar.

But above all, this memoir is the story of a guy who, while sprinting through the untamed and the unlimited got to this unfortunate place.

"Tom," wrote his doctor after an annual physical, and a peak at his liver, "if you don't find some other form for entertainment, you're going to die!"

The note soon helped him learn the importance of love and discipline when, instead of continuing to run amuck, he joined his sister on a tour of Israel with Hal Lindsey, of Late, Great Planet Earth fame. In Israel, as Dukey weighed the evidence, God did work, and Dukey was baptized by Hal in Jordan. At that moment, God took a life in shambles, one diving for the grave, and began to shape it into a life that would help the helpless.

Although applied immediately to start various sports ministries, in 2009 Dukey's faithfulness was rewarded with an even bigger job. Former Tehachapi resident Roger Van Ommeren, now deceased (RIP Roger), urged Tom to join him in his prison ministry, one that has touched hundreds of prisoners with the love of Christ's salvation and that Tom is now working to expand. When Roger became more familiar with Tom's background, he suggested Tom write a book.

Living as he did, Tom's accumulated and is now sharing lots of stupid, though true, stories that literally trip over one celebrity after another. And unlike any other book, through simple-to-use technology, "Memoir of a Stupid Jerk-Head Face" provides many of these adventures on video for viewing as you read. This book is a Roller Coaster ride that does more than give a great time, but also helps prisoners get out alive.

Remember, Google: "Tom Carmody stupid" and there it'll be. Visit our website, http://www.outalivePM.com to learn more about us and how we'd like the ministry to grow. Our Stupid Jerk-head Face team thanks you while giving blessings to all. We covet your prayers.