The Loop Newspaper - Tehachapi's Online Community News & Entertainment Guide

By Mel White 

Pun times!

On the Bright Side


August 3, 2019

Mel White

Some years ago I was friends and bandmates with a brother and sister team who were great punsters. No one could talk with either one of them without experiencing – sometimes several times per conversation – what might be considered "audio double-takes."

I was impressed at the time with how the two could make their minds and mouths work so fast, and while I can't remember the specifics of their witty word plays, I do remember how often I laughed and how I enjoyed conversing with them. And how I learned to love puns with them.

Sadly, I've lost touch with them over the years, but I still have a great appreciation for the skills of punny people and, happily, I've discovered there are quite a few other clever people out there who are more than adept at the art of punning. Plus, in this day and age, there is always the internet; several friends regularly send me fun puns – some combined with a few ponderable-type thoughts every now and then, just for good measure – so I'm sharing some of them with you today because, as everyone knows, a good pun is its own reword.

-Newsflash – the Energizer Bunny was finally arrested...and charged with battery!

-A man's home is his a manor of speaking.

-A pessimist's blood type is always B-Negative.

-My wife really likes to make pottery, but as far as I'm concerned, it's just kiln time.

-Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.

-You can practice safe eating by always using condiments.

-I fired my masseuse today – she just rubbed me the wrong way.

-A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

-A shotgun wedding is a really serious case of wife or death.

-I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

-If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

-I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack they gave me the axe.

-A man sometimes needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

-Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

-A bad hangover is the wrath of grapes.

-Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

-Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

-Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really just another form of floor play.

-Banning the bra in the Sixties was a big flop.

-Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

-Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

-A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

-Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

-A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

-Without geometry, life is truly pointless.

-When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.

-Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.

-Two egoists talking is an I for an I.

P.S. – If you've heard any good puns lately, send them to me and I'll share them with everyone in a future column.

© 2019 Marilda Mel White. Mel, local writer/photographer and co-owner of the Treasure Trove, has been looking on the bright side for various publications since 1996. She welcomes your comments, punny or not, at


Powered by ROAR Online Publication Software from Lions Light Corporation
© Copyright 2019