Happy New Year Everyone!
Bump, Birth & Beyond
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I hope everyone’s holidays were merry and bright. My family’s certainly were. Now it is January, and time to focus on all the hopes and anticipation of a brand new year. It feels good to start fresh, look forward to better times, and yes even setting those lofty New Year’s Resolutions.
We are now in the month of January, and probably have already broken a few of those resolutions.
On Jan. 1, it’s exciting to set lofty and grand goalsa. As the year progresses, the reality of our lives, our responsibilities and – yes – the needs of others (particularly those with little hands and very big needs) tend to get in the way of our goals, even if those goals involve the very people we are caring for.
The problem with most resolutions is that they are usually very hard to put into action or measure progress. Some of my goals this year include finding balance between work and play, being more present with children, friends and loved ones, and the ever popular losing of those extra mommy pounds.
All of these goals are rather large, lofty, and in reality really abstract. How do you even measure “balance”? Yes, losing weight is measurable, but using pounds or even inches puts a lot of power on the scale or measuring tape, which I have found, especially as a mother, is really hard to control, even with healthy habits.
To top things off, we as parents have all sorts of little distractions and surprises along our way. It can be a simple as our kids waking up sick (bye bye Mommy workout or social time) or as significant as life changing events like new job opportunities, your children’s needs changing and evolving, or even other surprises we can’t even imagine.
How can we as parents whose lives are constantly changing even begin to set and achieve goals, especially when life throws us little curves? I personally find that goals are a lot more achievable when I am able to hold myself accountable.
At this time last year, I was given the opportunity to be a part of a project that helped teach me to set goals in a more achievable fashion. Rather than setting huge, obscure, and open-ended goals, it helped me focus on tasks that were actionable and measurable, and break them down into even smaller events that could be achieved in a shorter span of time.
For example, I had high hopes of running a triathlon. Many excuses had gotten in my way. Instead of creating this huge plan to for one major event, I broke it down into steps. One month, I got back in the pool, learning again how much I loved it. This love made me find time to swim, even around my kiddos’ schedules. The next month, I returned to my bike, which I learned again that I could ride my bike, even with two children riding in the trailer behind me. Before I knew it, I was signing up for a triathlon and competing! This was all before June!
This year, I’m trying to do the same: focus on keeping my goals realistic, fun, and complete with plans on how to achieve them. Instead of searching for “balance”, I’m planning dates with friends or family members at least twice a month and planning a monthly date with my husband.
Instead of losing 20 lbs, I’m choosing to make plans to exercise five times a week, and planning fun ways to do this, like attending exercises classes at 9:15 a.m. on Mondays, and walking with a buddy at 11:30 a.m. on Tuesdays.
At the end of each month, I’m going take time and reflect on how I have done, process how I can continue to move forward, and tweak my plans to achieve my goals. If we have had a crazy month, or an unexpected twist, it’s time to regroup, take a deep breath and figure out how our goals can fit back into our ever-changing lives.
I wish you the happiest of New Year’s and I would love to hear about how you are achieving your dreams in 2014!
Justina is a local mother, photographer, lactation consultant and parenting advocate. She may be contacted at http://www.growinglovingfamilies.com or growinglovingfamilies@gmail.com.
